I was remembering back to the days when I would look into Darin’s eyes and they were blank. I would look at him and listen to him talk and wonder what happened to the man I married. Who is this standing in front of me. It’s not the same person. Where did he go and who is this stranger?
Then I began thinking about something that happened several months ago, a moment I will always remember.
It was a Sunday morning and Darin was taking a shower, blasting Jesus Culture while he was getting ready. When he was done I jumped in the shower and was listening to the music when suddenly he came in and took the ipod off its dock and walked out. I said, ” Hey, I was listening to that don’t take it away.” He said, ” just wait a minute.” Several minutes went by and I heard the music again. When I got out of the shower, I walked out of the bathroom into our bedroom. I then realized Darin had gone downstairs, carried up our big Roland amplifier/speaker, and plugged the Ipod into it. He was kneeling right by the speaker, with his hands lifted up, worshipping.
This story reminds me of the verse in
He holds victory in store for the upright.
To appreciate this story you have to understand just how impossible our life looked just 5 years ago. How far from God Darin appeared to be. Also I am embarrassed to admit this but had we not walked through this difficult season I would have taken this story for granted. It wouldn’t have even registered on my radar to appreciate it. I married someone who loved God with all his heart, Darin married someone who was dedicated to God, life should just be perfect right? This trial that we went through gave me a gift of gratefullness that I thought I had but didn’t. There were so many things I thought I understood but I really didn’t understand at all. Like peace that passeth our human understanding and a belief that God really is in charge. I also love the Word like never before. It is the bread of life that continues to feed me.
I believe this one little example is something God had in storage for me, in storage for us. When I was persevering, changing, working on myself, waiting, trusting, forgiving, believing, standing in Faith, ignoring the obvious, God was storing up different scenes like this for Darin and I. So much of our love for God is behind closed doors now and somehow that makes it even better. God was speaking to us to trust and believe He could fix our situation. He was teaching us to believe His Word is actually true! It looked as if we were on two different paths yet now we look back and realize we were both in training, both being disciplined, both on a path to know and understand God’s amazing powerful love more.
No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
I know without a shadow of doubt that Darin and I are going to produce a harvest of righteousness and peace and marriages around the world are going to be transformed by the mighty power of God.
There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan
that can succeed against the LORD.