When you are walking in Faith for your marriage
Overcoming evil with good
Keeping your eyes on Jesus
Instead of your spouse
It can look
Like your just being a door mat
“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command: Love each other.
Be very careful that you fight for your marriage God’s way not man’s way. Man’s way bears no fruit. How does all this work for you I do not know but I know if you ask God to give you wisdom He will. What the world sees as being a door mat, often times God sees as laying down your life.
“Fighting About Money”
Awhile ago Darin and I got in a big fight over money. Basically I felt like my head was going to blow off I was so mad. I was frustrated and so was Darin. I talked with one of my friends and she showed me this amazing verse that spoke life to me.
Here is the verse:
My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding— indeed, if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God. For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He holds success in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones.Then you will understand what is right and just and fair—every good path. For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul. Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you.
Right, Just, and Fair
A little over a year later, after my friend showed me that verse, and after another fight, I felt the Lord speak to me and tell me that if Darin and I would attend Dave Ramsey’s course “Financial Peace University” we would both find freedom regarding money. God told me that the structure would actually cause me to feel like I had more control rather than no control. He told me that it would actually bring freedom not bondage to both of us. As a result of attending this course, how we communicate about money has gotten much better. Now we both have money we can spend every month on whatever we want without feeling guilty and most importantly without feeling like we have to get each others permission. A feeling I HATED!
Another thing I might add it this: Darin and I both had to become a little “doormatish” to work through all this.
We still have heated debates, especially when we are sitting down to do the budget every month, but it is so much better. Before we attended Dave Ramsey, Darin would every once in awhile write out a budget and want me to follow it. Now we both do the budget and we both follow it “God showed us what was fair and right”. See how the Bible works! God can help you!!! He can!
Stay committed and do not give up!
Please understand I am not advocating being in a marriage where your physical life is being threatened. If that is the case you need to go to the Police.