I was sitting in my living room asking the Lord why I long for certain peoples approval. Why is this? Several months ago I was talking to the Lord about it, telling Him how I should wait until I am perfect to write because then people would not hate me and then ultimately they would approve of me. He said to me… Julie, I was perfect and people hated me.
But even in Him telling me this, I still sit here wishing for the approval of certain people.
Why do I feel disapproval
You ask…well I feel
The words I write often times are like
A bandaid being ripped off someone’s arm
My words reveal
Someone’s wound
A wound
They have been
Trying to hide
And cover
And pretend it doesn’t exist
In my heart I hear people say
Julie please
Don’t say this
Just keep quiet
I’m good
I’m not wounded
But my words
Rip off the bandaid
And reveal there is a deep wound
I say to God
Why am I someone called to write things doing this
Isn’t the wound better covered
Isn’t it safer
Isn’t it better for everybody
To pretend there is no wound
I say to God
Are you sure I am supposed to say this
Are you sure
He says
Yes
Say it, Jules
I say people don’t want the bandaid ripped off
People want to pretend it isn’t there
The pain that is
Oozing out
Is not really pain
Why do I have to be the one
To rip off the bandaid with my words
Why God
Another time I was arguing with God telling him I need to be completely healed to be able to write. How embarrassing to write out of my own hurt. This is humiliating! I want to look perfect, without any scars and He said Julie, I have scars. My scars prove I died on a cross for you, my scars prove I rose again, they prove my power over life and death. I love my scars!
God has showed me he wants the bandaid ripped off so He can come and heal your wound.
He wants to heal it so all you see is a scar.
And then your scar
Will prove God is alive
He does have the power over death
And over life
Today I am praying for you, if someone says something or does something which rips off your bandaid revealing your wound, you will not rush to find another bandaid but you will lift your wound up to the light of God so He can come turn your wounds into scars.
If you have time to google Isaiah 53 it is a good chapter in the Bible. It talks all about Jesus’ wounds.
Love you my dear precious friends!