For the first 2 years of Macy’s life Darin and I were separated. I was concerned about her future. The thought of having her grow up every morning without her Dad sent my heart into orbit with worry for her. People would tell me she would be okay but I knew in my heart she would not be. Macy had so much love coming her way so much love. I’m the best Mom in the world for her but she needed her Dad. She needed him everyday! She would not be okay and I knew this.
I began to pray for our marriage with Macy in simple ways but very significant and purposeful ways. I would pray with her every night. Pray that God would move us into abundance. Its wonderful to look at our family now. You would say we live in abundance.
Another thing I would do that I believe to be key is every Sunday at church we had prayer before the service. The worship team and elders would gather around our Pastors and pray. It was always at 9:45. I would go find Macy wherever she was. Often times she was playing in the nursery. I would pick her up and go pray for our Pastor. Macy would stand in front of our Pastor and he would hold her precious little hands while everyone would pray for him. I knew that as the Pastor of our church he carried an authority that we desperately needed to tap into. I would see her little hands in his and knew God was pouring in strength, pouring in the grace needed for the next stage of our life. The next stage I fully believed was our family being back together. I have great confidence that Macy is going to be an amazing women, amazing teenager, young adult, and mother herself. I will always look back to those precious moments when our Pastor held her little hands and poured God’s mighty power into them. It always looked so cute and sweet but it was far greater than that. It was telling the powers of darkness how close they were allowed to come.
Another thing I would do is pray strength by singing with her. I would go to church and during pre-service prayer walk back and forth singing in her little ears. Such precious moments I will never forget. I remember one time specifically it was Christmas time, Macy was wearing a Christmas outfit, she was just 4 months old. My friend was playing the piano for pre-service prayer. I was holding Macy walking back and forth singing faith into her ears. Just pouring faith into her with my voice. I would hold her with one arm and lift up my other arm to heaven. It was in those moments I knew the kingdom of darkness was being attacked by the Kingdom of Heaven.
The LORD is my light and my salvation
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life
of whom shall I be afraid?
When the wicked advance against me
to devour me,
it is my enemies and my foes
who will stumble and fall.
Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then I will be confident.
One thing I ask from the LORD,
this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple.
For in the day of trouble
he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent
and set me high upon a rock.
Then my head will be exalted
above the enemies who surround me;
at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make music to the LORD.
Hear my voice when I call, LORD;
be merciful to me and answer me.
My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”
Your face, LORD, I will seek.
Do not hide your face from me,
do not turn your servant away in anger;
you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
God my Savior.
Though my father and mother forsake me,
the LORD will receive me.
Teach me your way, LORD;
lead me in a straight path
because of my oppressors.
Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,
for false witnesses rise up against me,
spouting malicious accusations.
I remain confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.
Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.