The one thing that probably creates more disappointment and starts more fights is our expectations that we have for one another.
This is especially a problem for me. I have had to tell my expectations to stand down many times and will have to fight this the rest of my life. Expectations are EVIL!
I remember our first Anniversary. It always lands on Darin’s Coast Guard weekend which is the 2nd weekend of the month. This is a bummer, especially for a newlywed!!! I had built up huge expectations. Darin drove home from CG duty and instead of having flowers sent to me from the local florist which is what my expectations were, he drove home and stopped along the Oregon Coast Highway at different points and picked me a wild flower bouquet which in turn made him very late. He got out of the car with his bouquet and saw my face. I am embarrassed to tell you how I responded. It wasn’t like Jesus I will tell you that.
It is amazing how quickly we can build up a perfect scenario in our mind only to have it dashed and stomped on. This makes the devil so happy.
One expectation I did not know I was able to have because I am from the Northwest, is “Sweetest Day”.
Sweetest Day is a holiday celebrated primarily in, and parts of the Northeast United States, on the third Saturday in October. It is described by Retail Confectioners International as an “occasion which offers all of us an opportunity to remember the sick, aged and orphaned, but also friends, relatives and associates whose helpfulness and kindness we have enjoyed.”Sweetest Day has also been referred to as a “concocted promotion” created by the candy industry solely to increase sales of sweets.
Expectations are very dangerous! Don’t let your expectations rob you of your joy!
This is where having good friends is critical. People that will snap you out of your wrong thinking and worrying about something that is not important. I have particular friends I call when I’m frustrated with Darin. Yes, it is important to talk with someone and get it off your chest, but most importantly they can see a different perspective than you and calm you down before you say or do something harmful. Make sure you have people around you that are encouraging you the right way. Not people that feel sorry for you. This is absolutely key to a successful marriage.