If God has asked you to be faithful in a difficult marriage, then this is the blog for you!

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Sometimes I get emails from women who are fighting for their marriages just like I was. I just love reading their emails. It always increases my Faith.

This is Heather. I pray Heathers heart of Faith ignites faith in you and gives you the courage to keep your eyes focused on Jesus!

Thank you Heather for being willing to share your story!

Get Your Eyes Off Your Circumstances

“We think you ought to know dear brothers and sisters, about our trouble we went through in the province of Asia.  We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it.  In fact, we expected to die.  But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead.”  2 Corinthians 1:8

I couldn’t do it anymore. The pain was unbearable. For four months I had done everything I was supposed to do, everything I felt God was telling me to, and things were not going the way I had hoped they would.

Since the day my husband said he was leaving, that he wanted out, I fought-for our marriage, for our daughter, for the future that I had always assumed would be there.  I repented, allowed God to show me my faults and quickly went about trying to show my husband that I had changed, or rather that God had changed me.  But while I was allowing God to veer me back onto the path He had laid out for me, my husband was going a completely different direction.  I was tired of being hurt, tired of crying, tired of being the only one that cared about us.

I began rationalizing with God this particular night after the last straw had been drawn.  “God,” I began, “I just can’t handle this, I don’t deserve it either!  I have tried Lord, and I think I have done all that I can.” It was time to stop the hurting.  I began walking through the house taking down pictures.  First, the black and white ones of our wedding day-a close up of his hand on my back, a Kodak shot of us cutting our cake. One by one I continued on to each family picture removing it, telling myself that removing the memories from the walls would make it easier, and not so painful.  Each photo showed a memory frozen in time-happiness, carefree smiles, love.  “It’s better this way,” I reassured myself.  I piled them all carefully in the almost empty closet that had once housed all of my husband’s belongings.

I sat down on the couch, worn out mentally and emotionally, recounting that evening’s events.  I felt the Lord stirring something in my soul, deep down, but didn’t know what it was.  Through what can only be divine intervention, as I Googled this and that on the web, I came upon a ministry called Rejoice Ministries.  There I discovered that there were women and men doing exactly what I had been doing for the last four months, and it actually had a name.  These “standers” were standing in the gap for their husbands and wives.  They were believing in a miracle, believing God’s promise that He is sovereign, and that He hates divorce. All these people believed that God could and would heal marriages. Everything that I had always felt deep in my heart, God showed me that I was not alone.  I felt that the Lord had led me to this sight to speak directly to me: “DO NOT GIVE UP!”

I cannot explain the supernatural touch from the Lord I felt, but I immediately thanked the Lord and committed to stand for my marriage regardless of what my husband’s actions and words were. For as long as it took. It was then I knew the plans the Lord had for me, and that I had been in His will the entire time.  I would never give up on my husband again. The Lord gave to me two messages: “Yes, you have done all you can, stop trying to do it in your own strength-give it to ME, this is MY battle.  Rely on me, and I will carry you.  You cannot do this on your own, nor were you ever meant to.”  The other truth He clearly spoke is this: “You are called by ME to love your husband.  Get your eyes off your circumstances and keep them on ME.  I have called you to love your husband as I love you-and that is UNconditionally.”

That evening was the last that I ever doubted I was doing what God had called me to.  I will not tell you that after that my circumstances changed and my husband came home.  But I can tell you that when you are in the will of our mighty Father the peace and joy that surpasses all understanding is there-filling up every square inch of your broken heart.  Every day that I place my hope and faith in Him-and I mean truly dying to your own will and really living for Him-He blesses beyond measure.

Later that same night I walked back through my house, carefully replacing each precious photograph back in its rightful spot. Instead of feeling pain I felt the promises God had for me.  And I walk by them each day, finding comfort in the Lord’s amazing sovereignty.  I trust now that His plans really are to prosper me, and not to harm me, I just have to be willing to allow Him to direct my steps.

“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good.  At just the right time (and that’s not necessarily my right time) we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.” Galatians 6:9 NLT

“Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” 1 Corinthians 13:7 NLT

Go back and read the first verse at the top.  Is that you, feeling as if you might just die from the pain?  Stop relying on yourself and have faith that He can and will handle this a lot better than you ever could! You can do this, bathe yourself in His word, speak it over your loved one, and don’t give up!

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