Before you read what I wrote below I want to tell you that Darin wasn’t totally on board with this post…He said immediately…that doesn’t sound like us… especially you Julie. It is true, for the most part, I wasn’t mean with my words. I have to give credit to my mom’s “nice” genes I inherited from her and God giving me amazing grace to see the bigger picture in our Marriage battle. I do remember telling Darin once that if I were him I wouldn’t walk outside because God might kill him for treating me so terrible but God did give me grace. In saying that I believe people use their words to inflict harm on those they love more than anything else.
The Bible says in James that the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
As I was driving around two days ago, these words below, started stirring in my heart. I explained to Darin that sometimes wives can be very mean and he said yes I know that but husbands can be very mean too!
So completely ridiculous
it makes you want to lay into him
and let him have it
but you tell yourself to calm down
and not say anything
but then
he walks in the door
you see him and you just can’t hold it in
so you decide in that moment to
“tell him how you feel”
as you do this
he begins to defend himself
by giving you excuses
that no one else would believe
so you just can’t help yourself
you let him have it
because well…
he is being ridiculous
and
someone has to tell him
suddenly you notice
he stops talking
and just looks at you with a blank stare
and wont say anything
which makes you even more angry
well
according to the book “Love and Respect”
which we highly recommend
he just started shutting down
I use to think when Darin stopped talking I just won the argument
he saw it “my way”
but what I didn’t know is he started shutting down
closing off his heart
thats not good
thats not good at all
You know how he does something else really stupid
and this time you have just
had it
so again
you take the opportunity
to “tell him how you feel”
and again he gives you these insane excuses
so you feel compelled to lay into him
but this time you take it to a whole new level
you begin to tell him
that he is nothing but a piece of shit
you should have NEVER married him
and you and the kids would be better off without him
you know how you say that
Dont say that anymore
Don’t do that
Praying!
Jules