If God has asked you to be faithful in a difficult marriage, then this is the blog for you!

Don’t Do That!

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Before you read what I wrote below I want to tell you that Darin wasn’t totally on board with this post…He said immediately…that doesn’t sound like us… especially you Julie. It is true, for the most part, I wasn’t mean with my words. I have to give credit to my mom’s “nice” genes I inherited from her and God giving me amazing grace to see the bigger picture in our Marriage battle. I do remember telling Darin once that if I were him I wouldn’t walk outside because God might kill him for treating me so terrible but God did give me grace. In saying that I believe people use their words to inflict harm on those they love more than anything else.

The Bible says in James that the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

As I was driving around two days ago, these words below, started stirring in my heart. I explained to Darin that sometimes wives can be very mean and he said yes I know that but husbands can be very mean too!

                                                                                                       You know how
Your husband does something

So completely ridiculous

it makes you want to lay into him

and let him have it

but you tell yourself to calm down

and not say anything

but then

he walks in the door

you see him and you just can’t hold it in

so you decide in that moment to

“tell him how you feel”

as you do this

he begins to defend himself

by giving you excuses

that no one else would believe

so you just can’t help yourself

you let him have it

because well…

he is being ridiculous


someone has to tell him

suddenly you notice

he stops talking

and just looks at you with a blank stare

and wont say anything

which makes you even more angry


according to the book “Love and Respect”

which we highly recommend

he just started shutting down

I use to think when Darin stopped talking I just won the argument

he saw it “my way”

but what I didn’t know is he started shutting down

closing off his heart

thats not good

thats not good at all

You know how he does something else really stupid

and this time you have just

had it

so again

you take the opportunity

to “tell him how you feel”

and again he gives you these insane excuses

so you feel compelled to lay into him

but this time you take it to a whole new level

you begin to tell him

that he is nothing but a piece of shit

you should have NEVER married him

and you and the kids would be better off without him

you know how you say that

Dont say that anymore

Don’t do that





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