What some of you that read my blog don’t know is I did not get married until I was 35. It was the goal of many people to get me married. This may seem sweet for those of you who married young but as the years went by it became a huge distraction for me! They meant well but it was very frustrating at times. I knew God had spoke to me that if I focused on him he would bring the right guy along that was perfect for me but God did not tell everyone else this! Why I do not know but he didn’t so it was my job to stay focused and deal with everyone’s suggestions.
Although at the time this was hugely frustrating and terribly distracting I learned some techniques that I see now helped me keep my eyes on Jesus when Darin and I began our fight. It seemed once again everyone wanted to give me suggestions on how I needed to fix my problem.
People wanted to help me find someone to marry…a problem in their eyes and a desire in mine
People wanted to help me fix Darin…a problem in their eyes and a huge desire and longing of mine
One thing I learned is you cannot stop people from talking you just can’t but you can stop people engaging in conversation by just simply not engaging in it. You just acknowledge what they have said to you and move on.
During our battle it was important to me that I looked smart by walking through my battle for our marriage with grace. I knew what I was doing was out of the ordinary for most people but it was important to me that I did not look bitter and angry. This is something I learned from both of my parents. Jesus himself helped me with this!
I didn’t spend time dwelling on everyone’s suggestions
I didn’t look for drama
I trusted Jesus to police Darin
The few times I looked at a phone bill fear rushed in and peace left
No more looking at phone bills
The Bible says your sin will find you out
Doesn’t say your spouse will find your sin out
It says your sin will
I had a confidence in God that if he wanted me to know something He would have Darin tell me
And if Darin told me God would give me grace to hear it
This has happened several times in our marriage
Looking for drama is not conducive to winning a war
Our friends concerns, our families suggestions can be a huge distraction for all of us. But in your quiet time when you are alone you have to say what is false and what is truth!
What is drama trying to distract me
What is truth leading me to healing and freedom
Drama stirs up fear and frustration
Truth brings peace and understanding
That is why the Word is so needed
When you are going through a battle of such significance
Which the battle you are in has huge eternal significance that you or I cannot see
Don’t let the desire to “find out first” which is PRIDE destroy peace in your life!