If God has asked you to be faithful in a difficult marriage, then this is the blog for you!

I didn’t want to go to jail.

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I remember one of the nights I was so hurt and angry at Darin. So angry! I think fumes were coming out of my ears, eyes, and mouth. I marched into our bedroom and called him the “F” word with an “ER” at the end. In those moments of pure craziness I wanted to lash out and hurt him like he had hurt me. I didn’t want to go to jail so the only thing I knew to do was use my words. That does very little to help the situation if you are extremely angry no matter how right you might think you are.

I have learned and have come to accept the fact that we will never totally comprehend how we have hurt someone and they will never fully know how they have hurt us. Reminds me of the verse in Proverbs 14 that says; Each heart knows its own bitterness and no one else can share it’s joy. Just like Jesus dying on the cross for our sins. We will never feel what He felt that day on the cross. These difficult situations give us a tiny glimpse into the very heart of God.

What is even more difficult to grasp is how Jesus can forgive us of all our sins no matter how big and small, then they are removed as far as the east is from the west, and remembered no more. At the same time the Bible says He carries our sorrows. How can God do that. He forgives us completely on one hand yet carries our sorrows in the other. He even carries the sorrows from the sins he just forgave us for. He also forgives one and comforts the other. Only God can do this. That is His Amazing Love isn’t it.

Isaiah 53

Who has believed our message
and to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?
He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
He was despised and rejected by mankind,
a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom people hide their faces
he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.

Surely he took up our pain
and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
stricken by him, and afflicted.
But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
and by his wounds we are healed.
We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to our own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.

He was oppressed and afflicted,
yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
and as a sheep before its shearers is silent,
so he did not open his mouth.
By oppression and judgment he was taken away.
Yet who of his generation protested?
For he was cut off from the land of the living;
for the transgression of my people he was punished.
He was assigned a grave with the wicked,
and with the rich in his death,
though he had done no violence,
nor was any deceit in his mouth.

Yet it was the LORD’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer,
and though the LORD makes his life an offering for sin,
he will see his offspring and prolong his days,
and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.
After he has suffered,
he will see the light of life and be satisfied;
by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many,
and he will bear their iniquities.
Therefore I will give him a portion among the great,
and he will divide the spoils with the strong,
because he poured out his life unto death,
and was numbered with the transgressors.
For he bore the sin of many,
and made intercession for the transgressors.

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